The moment has finally arrived: your little girl has found their Prince Charming and said “yes” to the rest of her life. If you’re a parent to a recently engaged daughter, you may be feeling overwhelmed, excited, and wondering what comes next. Your role in this process is important and unique! From all the emotions to the logistics, here’s what you need to know about supporting her in the wedding planning process:
Open communication is the best place to start: You may be excited, but the most important thing is to ensure that you and your daughter understand the role you are to play. Be honest and open with the bride-to-be, asking what she would like you to do or leave up to her, and how to best support her. Does she want you to make all the decisions, or would she prefer that you simply offer support and validation? Remember that this may change as the process gets underway, so stay open-minded and receptive to what she has to say. Begin by truly listening to her vision for day and how she wants to bring it to life.
Financial planning is crucial: No one loves to talk about budgets, but when it comes to wedding planning, nothing will save your sanity more than a clear budget. Weddings are quite expensive, and it’s important to be transparent about your contributions, and what you will be paying for/not paying for. There should be no surprises when you set a budget, and therefore, things should run more smoothly. One important step is to revisit the budget often, so that you know whether you are over or under in categories like florals or cake. Don’t forget that if the groom’s family is unable or unwilling to pay for the rehearsal dinner, you may need to factor that into your budget. Consider things like the rings and dress, if that is something you also want to contribute to.
Seek out your own emotional support: We will be straight with you; weddings can be exhausting and emotional, and the process can bring out feelings in everyone that feel big and frustrating. While it’s a joyful time, it can also feel overwhelming. We recommend finding a trusted friend or even a counselor who can support you through the process so that your daughter can rely on you for emotional support. If you and her are quite close, you may think you can talk about the wedding all the time, but it’s important to recognize that giving each other space and time (and breaks) to not discuss the wedding will keep your mother-daughter relationship healthy.
Consider family traditions and decide together: If your family does traditions or celebrates cultural moments in a wedding ceremony, it’s important that you bring those up to your daughter to see if she wants to include them. Educate yourself on their significance if they are traditions from the groom’s family so that they can feel included and validated. This consideration adds a beautiful layer to the wedding day, makes it more personal, and helps everyone feel included. Be open-minded if your daughter does not want to include traditions you may have celebrated on your own day, and brainstorm how to include long-standing ones in other ways.
Do your research on vendors and learn to delegate: Navigating the intricate details of wedding planning involves pivotal steps, such as aiding your daughter in selecting reputable vendors. Whether it’s the photographer capturing precious moments or the florist crafting the perfect arrangements, thorough research and recommendations are essential for a seamless planning process and a truly memorable wedding day. Additionally, delegating responsibilities is key to managing the myriad tasks that come with organizing a wedding. By distributing responsibilities among family members and friends, not only does this lighten the overall load, but it also fosters a sense of community and shared joy, especially when you have people asking to help.
When the highly anticipated big day arrives, embrace the moment wholeheartedly. Savor the love, the laughter, and the joy that permeates the air, understanding that your role in this journey goes way beyond planning, its about crafting enduring memories for the start of their love story. Your unwavering support will be the piece that makes your daughter’s wedding truly memorable! We would love to be the ones capturing the special day, so if you’re based in Birmingham, Alabama, please reach out to us for our availability!